735 lines
27 KiB
Python
735 lines
27 KiB
Python
l1gmab0t =' \n\
|
||
_ _ ____ ___ _ \n\
|
||
| | _ _| | ___| __ ) / _ \| |_ \n\
|
||
| | | | | | | |_ / _ \| | | | __| \n\
|
||
| |__| |_| | |___ / /| |_) | |_| | |_ \n\
|
||
|_____\__,_|_____/___|____/ \___/ \__| \n\
|
||
'
|
||
# Discord Bot
|
||
import discord
|
||
import datetime
|
||
import time
|
||
from fortune import fortune
|
||
|
||
TOKEN = open('discord_token').read()
|
||
chuck = open('chucknorris').read().split('\n%\n')
|
||
client = discord.Client(activity=discord.Game(name='with myself'))
|
||
|
||
# NLP
|
||
import numpy as np
|
||
from transformers import AutoTokenizer, AutoModelForCausalLM
|
||
import torch
|
||
import asyncio
|
||
|
||
tokenizer = AutoTokenizer.from_pretrained('microsoft/DialoGPT-large')
|
||
model = AutoModelForCausalLM.from_pretrained('../southpark/output-small')
|
||
|
||
# Twitter
|
||
import tweepy
|
||
|
||
twit_sekrit = open('twit_sekrit').read().split('\n')
|
||
api_key = twit_sekrit[0]
|
||
api_key_secret = twit_sekrit[1]
|
||
bearer_token = twit_sekrit[2]
|
||
access_token = twit_sekrit[3]
|
||
access_token_secret = twit_sekrit[4]
|
||
tclient = tweepy.Client(bearer_token,api_key,api_key_secret,access_token,access_token_secret)
|
||
|
||
def user_tweet(twitter):
|
||
statuses = tclient.get_users_tweets(44196397, exclude=['replies'], max_results=5)
|
||
return statuses[0][0]
|
||
|
||
menu = '```\n\
|
||
Commands:\n\
|
||
fortune: tell a fortune\n\
|
||
chuck: give a Chuck Norris quote\n\
|
||
ligma: LIGMA BALLS\n\
|
||
bofa: deez\n\
|
||
deez: nutz\n\
|
||
limerick: tell a limerick\n\
|
||
prost!: prost!\n\
|
||
\n\
|
||
Contribute!\
|
||
https://github.com/adoyle0/lulzbot```'
|
||
|
||
ligma = [
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/ligma-ligma-balls-atomicrops-gif-24996966',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/ligma-balls-gif-12236083',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/will-smith-ligma-funny-gif-25108308',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/racoon-wiggle-nuts-balls-gif-8085185',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/jesus-biglebowski-balls-gif-9633055',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/big-black-fuzzy-balls-fuzzy-balls-big-balls-eddie-griffin-undercover-brother-gif-5548455',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/ballcrushing-bust-ballbusting-balls-gif-14635943',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/cup-check-balls-ouch-sack-gif-10728090',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/xie-lian-ligma-balls-ligma-tgcf-tian-gua-ci-fu-gif-21869659',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/lick-taste-tongue-out-gif-16957327',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/rickandmorty-lick-lickballs-gif-9913722',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/ligma-balls-gif-12236636',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/ligma-balls-gif-22082587',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/its-all-free-free-no-charge-free-of-charge-naughty-teddy-gif-19338184',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/ligma-balls-sonic-act-lick-gif-21274274',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/balls-dance-rotate-beating-gif-17433105',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/david-bowie-labyrinth-balls-magic-balls-magic-gif-16043363',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/kawaii-muski-muski-omori-ligma-balls-gif-21138025',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/ligma-ligamab-alls-tower-of-babel-gaming-tobg-riamu-yumemi-gif-24359574',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/goat-lick-tongue-tongue-out-tongue-wiggle-gif-16390888',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/bleh-tongue-out-lickitung-pokemon-detective-pikachu-gif-15798020',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-wheel-of-fortune-gif-15264920',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/hello-chat-deez-nuts-hello-chat-deez-nuts-gif-25294032',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-troll-troll-face-troll-face-smile-dark-gif-23624288',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-gif-22383209',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nutz-deez-nuts-deez-nutz-heart-locket-gif-22497345',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/ball-inspection-balls-inspection-football-bobux-gif-19234883',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/sesame-street-proud-hug-puppet-yay-gif-19663674',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-deez-nuts-initial-d-ligma-steve-jobs-gif-23065842',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/testing-new-deez-nuts-ha-teeth-gif-15758045',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/longest-drive-gif-20862347',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-deez-nuts-discord-gif-20296574',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/these-nuts-deez-gif-13388028',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/pepe-deez-nuts-pepe-the-frog-pepe-holding-sign-deez-nuts-gif-deez-nuts-ha-gif-22618462',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/squirrel-i-have-got-words-for-you-you-want-deez-nuts-gif-15404415',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-are-you-ready-gif-20161550',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-nutz-deez-gif-18259525',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/dee-gif-4387670',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/omori-deez-nuts-so-funny-funny-joke-right-guys-gif-21468920',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deeznuts-gif-5578640',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/dznutz-gif-7146897',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nut-deez-nuts-gobble-gobble-deez-nuts-gif-25294130',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-gif-22383209',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/guilty-gear-strive-happy-chaos-deez-nuts-gif-guilty-gear-gif-23786775',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/mouth-full-my-nuts-squirrel-mine-get-away-gif-14154065',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/friday-night-funkin-deez-nuts-hop-on-gif-22197266',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-cookie-deez-nutz-deez-nuts-nft-gif-23901553',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/homare-arisugawa-a3-deez-nuts-gif-22718748',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/cope-deez-cope-on-deez-colossalcraft-coping-gif-23556695',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/hug-kiss-gif-23992029',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nutz-deez-nuts-gif-22037745',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-nft-deez-nuts-gif-deez-nuts-deez-big-nuts-deez-gif-23605637',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-deez-nuts-gif-25652186',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/gulpin-deeznuts-gif-21798060',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-deez-burger-king-burger-king-crown-airplane-gif-21978215',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-rap-john-oh-you-really-like-deez-nut-up-in-your-face-gif-22744730',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/hop-on-deez-nuts-gif-25437799',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/h3-h3podcast-5percent-five-percent-h3five-percent-gif-24149085',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/youre-sucking-deez-nuts-gif-21505910',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/eokel-valorant-youtube-gif-22895296',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/fortune-cooke-deez-nuts-lmao-cookie-fortune-gif-21740031',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-takemichi-feet-gif-22705365',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-dana-gif-19615763',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/smg4-gif-23834017',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/urmom-hololive-gif-21993936',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-paradise-pd-crabbage-gif-21925327',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/willem-dafoe-insane-insanity-crazy-nuts-gif-20731647',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/yogi-bear-yogi-bear-doughnuts-deez-nuts-gif-gif-23782410',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/dane-cook-carpe-deez-nuts-floyd-waiting-gif-17393528',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/what-are-you-putting-on-your-wiener-what-is-on-your-wiener-what-do-you-put-on-your-wiener-on-your-wiener-your-wiener-gif-18064519',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/king-kong-deez-nuts-meme-kong-king-gif-21432884',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/bangbang-gun-shot-powpow-pow-gif-21746849',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/mcdonalds-meme-gif-mickey-deez-gif-9926547',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/deez-nuts-spongebob-gif-5267436',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/hangover-nuts-chow-ken-jeong-the-hangover-gif-13028372',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/snl-natalie-portman-jiggle-nuts-lonely-gif-15048024',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/omegalul-deez-deez-nuts-twitch-clips-gif-22601733',
|
||
'https://tenor.com/view/you-ready-deez-nuts-gif-18188433',
|
||
'https://media.giphy.com/media/jt3R5veCXNM1jJ183A/giphy-downsized-large.gif',
|
||
]
|
||
|
||
limericks = [
|
||
'Limericks I cannot compose,\n\
|
||
With noxious smells in my nose.\n\
|
||
But this one was easy,\n\
|
||
I only felt queasy,\n\
|
||
Because I was sniffing my toes.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young woman named Bright,\n\
|
||
Whose speed was much faster than light.\n\
|
||
She set out one day,\n\
|
||
In a relative way,\n\
|
||
And returned on the previous night.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was an odd fellow named Gus,\n\
|
||
When traveling he made such a fuss.\n\
|
||
He was banned from the train,\n\
|
||
Not allowed on a plane,\n\
|
||
And now travels only by bus.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a fly on the wall,\n\
|
||
I wonder, why didn’t it fall?\n\
|
||
Because its feet stuck? Or was it just luck?\n\
|
||
Or does gravity miss things so small?',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a man from Tibet,\n\
|
||
Who couldn’t find a cigarette\n\
|
||
So he smoked all his socks,\n\
|
||
and got chicken-pox,\n\
|
||
and had to go to the vet.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young woman named Bright,\n\
|
||
Whose speed was much faster than light.\n\
|
||
She set out one day,\n\
|
||
In a relative way,\n\
|
||
And returned on the previous night.',
|
||
\
|
||
'I need a front door for my hall,\n\
|
||
The replacement I bought was too tall.\n\
|
||
So I hacked it and chopped it,\n\
|
||
And carefully lopped it,\n\
|
||
And now the dumb thing is too small',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a boy named Dan,\n\
|
||
who wanted to fry in a pan.\n\
|
||
He tried and he tried,\n\
|
||
and eventually died,\n\
|
||
that weird little boy named Dan.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A newspaperman named Fling,\n\
|
||
Could make “copy” from any old thing.\n\
|
||
But the copy he wrote,\n\
|
||
Of a five-dollar note,\n\
|
||
Was so good he now wears so much bling.',
|
||
\
|
||
'I know an old owl named Boo,\n\
|
||
Every night he yelled Hoo,\n\
|
||
Once a kid walked by,\n\
|
||
And started to cry,\n\
|
||
And yelled I don’t have a clue!',
|
||
\
|
||
'I once fell in love with a blonde,\n\
|
||
But found that she wasn’t so fond.\n\
|
||
Of my pet turtle named Odle,\n\
|
||
whom I’d taught how to Yodel,\n\
|
||
So she dumped him outside in the pond.',
|
||
\
|
||
'I’d rather have Fingers than Toes,\n\
|
||
I’d rather have Ears than a Nose.\n\
|
||
And as for my Hair,\n\
|
||
I’m glad it’s all there,\n\
|
||
I’ll be awfully sad, when it goes.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a Young Lady whose chin\n\
|
||
Resembled the point of a pin:\n\
|
||
So she had it made sharp,\n\
|
||
And purchased a harp,\n\
|
||
And played several tunes with her chin. (Edward Lear)',
|
||
\
|
||
'Hickory Dickory dock,\n\
|
||
the mouse ran up the clock;\n\
|
||
the clock struck one\n\
|
||
and down he run;\n\
|
||
hickory Dickory dock. (Charles Perrault)',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a faith-healer of Deal,\n\
|
||
Who said: “Although pain isn’t real,\n\
|
||
If I sit on a pin\n\
|
||
And it punctures my skin,\n\
|
||
I dislike what I fancy I feel.',
|
||
\
|
||
'My dog is really quite hip,\n\
|
||
Except when he takes a cold dip.\n\
|
||
He looks like a fool,\n\
|
||
when he jumps in the pool,\n\
|
||
and reminds me of a sinking ship.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A painter, who lived in Great Britain,\n\
|
||
Interrupted two girls with their knitting,\n\
|
||
He said, with a sigh,\n\
|
||
That park bench–well I,\n\
|
||
Just painted it, right where you’re sitting.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There is a young schoolboy named Mason,\n\
|
||
Whose mom cuts his hair with a basin.\n\
|
||
When he stands in one place,\n\
|
||
With a scarf round his face,\n\
|
||
It’s a mystery which way he’s facing.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young schoolboy of Rye,\n\
|
||
Who was baked by mistake in a pie.\n\
|
||
To his mother’s disgust,\n\
|
||
He emerged through the crust,\n\
|
||
And exclaimed, with a yawn, Where am I?',
|
||
\
|
||
'An elderly man called Keith,\n\
|
||
Mislaid his set of false teeth.\n\
|
||
They’d been laid on a chair,\n\
|
||
He’d forgot they were there,\n\
|
||
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was an old man of Peru,\n\
|
||
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.\n\
|
||
He woke in the night,\n\
|
||
With a terrible fright,\n\
|
||
And found it was perfectly true.',
|
||
\
|
||
'The incredible Wizard of Oz,\n\
|
||
Retired from his business becoz.\n\
|
||
Due to up-to-date science,\n\
|
||
To most of his clients,\n\
|
||
He wasn’t the Wizard he woz.',
|
||
\
|
||
'Once I visited France,\n\
|
||
And learned a new, awesome dance.\n\
|
||
I twirled,\n\
|
||
And I swirled,\n\
|
||
And Is it me or the nature of money,\n\
|
||
That’s odd and particularly funny.\n\
|
||
But when I have dough,\n\
|
||
It goes quickly, you know,\n\
|
||
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.\n\
|
||
I lost my pants.',
|
||
\
|
||
'Is it me or the nature of money,\n\
|
||
That’s odd and particularly funny.\n\
|
||
But when I have dough,\n\
|
||
It goes quickly, you know,\n\
|
||
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a farmer from Leeds,\n\
|
||
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.\n\
|
||
It soon came to pass,\n\
|
||
He was covered with grass,\n\
|
||
But has all the tomatoes he needs.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A fellow jumped off a high wall,\n\
|
||
And had a most terrible fall.\n\
|
||
He went back to bed,\n\
|
||
With a bump on his head,\n\
|
||
That’s why you don’t jump off a wall.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A man and his lady-love, Min,\n\
|
||
Skated out where the ice was quite thin.\n\
|
||
Had a quarrel, no doubt,\n\
|
||
For I hear they fell out,\n\
|
||
What a blessing they didn’t fall in!',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young lady of Cork,\n\
|
||
Whose Pa made a fortune in pork.\n\
|
||
He bought for his daughter,\n\
|
||
A tutor who taught her,\n\
|
||
To balance green peas on her fork.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a Martian called Zed\n\
|
||
With antennae all over his head.\n\
|
||
He sent out a lot\n\
|
||
Di-di-dash-di-dot\n\
|
||
But nobody knew what he said!',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a girl named Sam\n\
|
||
Who did not eat roast beef and ham\n\
|
||
She ate a green apple\n\
|
||
Then drank some Snapple\n\
|
||
Some say she eats like a lamb.',
|
||
\
|
||
'Said the man with a wink of his eye\n\
|
||
‘But I love you‘ and then the reply\n\
|
||
From the girl, it was heard\n\
|
||
‘You are truly absurd!\n\
|
||
I have only this moment walked by!’',
|
||
\
|
||
'A wonderful bird is the Pelican.\n\
|
||
His beak can hold more than his belly can.\n\
|
||
He can hold in his beak\n\
|
||
Enough food for a week!\n\
|
||
But I’ll be darned if I know how the hellican?',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was once a great man in Japan\n\
|
||
Whose name on Tuesday began,\n\
|
||
It lasted through Sunday\n\
|
||
Till twilight on Monday\n\
|
||
And it sounded like stones in a can.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young man so benighted\n\
|
||
He never knew when he was slighted;\n\
|
||
He would go to a party\n\
|
||
And eat just as hearty,\n\
|
||
As if he’d been really invited.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was an old man from Sudan,\n\
|
||
Whose limericks never would scan.\n\
|
||
When told this was so,\n\
|
||
He said, ‘yes, I know.\n\
|
||
‘But I always try to get as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.’',
|
||
\
|
||
'A maiden at college, Miss Breeze,\n\
|
||
Weighed down by B.A.s and Lit.D’s,\n\
|
||
Collapsed from the strain,\n\
|
||
Said her doctor, “It’s plain\n\
|
||
You are killing yourself—by degrees!”',
|
||
\
|
||
'A canner, exceedingly canny,\n\
|
||
One morning remarked to his granny,\n\
|
||
“A canner can can\n\
|
||
Anything that he can;\n\
|
||
But a canner can’t can a can, can he?”',
|
||
\
|
||
'A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd\n\
|
||
She was frightened—it must be allowed.\n\
|
||
Soon a happy thought hit her—\n\
|
||
To scare off the critter,\n\
|
||
She sat up in bed and meowed.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young woman named Kite,\n\
|
||
Whose speed was much faster than light,\n\
|
||
She set out one day,\n\
|
||
In a relative way,\n\
|
||
And returned on the previous night.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A flea and a fly in a flue,\n\
|
||
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?\n\
|
||
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”\n\
|
||
“Let us fly,” said the flea,\n\
|
||
And they flew through a flaw in the flue.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A major, with wonderful force,\n\
|
||
Called out in Hyde Park for a horse.\n\
|
||
All the flowers looked round,\n\
|
||
But no horse could be found;\n\
|
||
So he just rhododendron, of course.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A nifty young flapper named Jane\n\
|
||
While walking was caught in the rain.\n\
|
||
She ran–almost flew,\n\
|
||
Her complexion did too,\n\
|
||
And she reached home exceedingly plain.',
|
||
\
|
||
'“There’s a train at 4:04,” said Miss Jenny.\n\
|
||
“Four tickets I’ll take; have you any?”\n\
|
||
Said the man at the door,\n\
|
||
“Not four for 4:04,\n\
|
||
For four for 4:04 is too many.”',
|
||
\
|
||
'A canny young fisher named Fisher\n\
|
||
Once fished from the edge of a fissure.\n\
|
||
A fish with a grin\n\
|
||
Pulled the fisherman in—\n\
|
||
Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fisher.',
|
||
\
|
||
'Here’s to the chigger,\n\
|
||
The bug that’s no bigger\n\
|
||
Than the point of an undersized pin;\n\
|
||
But the welt that he raises\n\
|
||
Sure itches like blazes,\n\
|
||
And that’s where the rub comes in!',
|
||
\
|
||
'A cheerful old bear at the Zoo\n\
|
||
Could always find something to do.\n\
|
||
When it bored him, you know,\n\
|
||
To walk to and fro,\n\
|
||
He reversed it and walked fro and to.',
|
||
\
|
||
'The bottle of perfume that Willie sent\n\
|
||
Was highly displeasing to Millicent;\n\
|
||
Her thanks were so cold\n\
|
||
They quarreled, I’m told,\n\
|
||
Through that silly scent Willie sent Millicent.',
|
||
\
|
||
'I bought a new Hoover today,\n\
|
||
Plugged it in in the usual way,\n\
|
||
Switched it on – what a din;\n\
|
||
It sucked everything in,\n\
|
||
Now I’m homeless with no place to stay.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A crossword compiler named Moss\n\
|
||
Who found himself quite at a loss\n\
|
||
When asked, ‘Why so blue?’\n\
|
||
Said, ‘I haven’t a clue\n\
|
||
I’m 2 Down to put 1 Across.’',
|
||
\
|
||
'I’m papering walls in the loo\n\
|
||
And quite frankly I haven’t a clue;\n\
|
||
For the pattern’s all wrong\n\
|
||
(Or the paper’s too long)\n\
|
||
And I’m stuck to the toilet with glue.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was an old man of Esser,\n\
|
||
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,\n\
|
||
It at last grew so small\n\
|
||
He knew nothing at all\n\
|
||
And now he’s a college professor.',
|
||
\
|
||
'To compose a sonata today,\n\
|
||
Don’t proceed in the old-fashioned way:\n\
|
||
With your toes on the keys,\n\
|
||
Bang the floor with your knees:\n\
|
||
“Oh how modern!” the critics will say.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young lady named Perkins,\n\
|
||
Who just simply doted on gherkins.\n\
|
||
In spite of advice,\n\
|
||
She ate so much spice,\n\
|
||
That she pickled her internal workins’.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was an old man of Nantucket\n\
|
||
Who kept all his cash in a bucket;\n\
|
||
But his daughter, named Nan\n\
|
||
Ran away with a man —\n\
|
||
And as far as the bucket, Nantucket.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young lady of Kent,\n\
|
||
Whose nose was most awfully bent.\n\
|
||
She followed her nose\n\
|
||
One day, I suppose —\n\
|
||
And no one knows which way she went.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young lady named Hannah,\n\
|
||
Who slipped on a peel of banana.\n\
|
||
As she lay on her side,\n\
|
||
More stars she espied\n\
|
||
Than there are in the Star-Spangled Banner.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a dear lady of Eden,\n\
|
||
Who on apples was quite fond of feedin’;\n\
|
||
She gave one to Adam,\n\
|
||
Who said, “Thank you, Madam,”\n\
|
||
And then both skedaddled from Eden.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A certain young fellow named Bee-Bee\n\
|
||
Wished to wed a woman named Phoebe.\n\
|
||
“But,” he said, “I must see\n\
|
||
What the clerical fee\n\
|
||
Be before Phoebe be Phoebe Bee-Bee',
|
||
\
|
||
'Remember when nearly sixteen\n\
|
||
On your very first date as a teen\n\
|
||
At the movies? If yes,\n\
|
||
Then I bet you can’t guess\n\
|
||
What was shown on the cinema screen.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was an old person of Fratton\n\
|
||
Who would go to church with his hat on.\n\
|
||
‘If I wake up,’ he said,\n\
|
||
‘With a hat on my head,\n\
|
||
I will know that it hasn’t been sat on.’',
|
||
\
|
||
'My neighbor came over to say\n\
|
||
(Although not in a neighborly way)\n\
|
||
That he’d knock me around\n\
|
||
If I didn’t curb the sound\n\
|
||
Of the classical music I play.',
|
||
\
|
||
'I told him, “Get out of my place\n\
|
||
You’re an utter uncultured disgrace;\n\
|
||
You’re a simpleton loon.\n\
|
||
Don’t you know a good tune?”\n\
|
||
Then he walloped me square in the face.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young man from Dealing\n\
|
||
Who caught the bus for Ealing.\n\
|
||
It said on the door\n\
|
||
‘Don’t spit on the floor’\n\
|
||
So he jumped up and spat on the ceiling',
|
||
\
|
||
'As 007 walked by\n\
|
||
He heard a wee spider say, “Hi.”\n\
|
||
But shaken, he shot\n\
|
||
It right there on the spot\n\
|
||
As it tried to explain, “I’m a spi …”',
|
||
\
|
||
'A tutor who tooted the flute\n\
|
||
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot\n\
|
||
Said the two to the tutor\n\
|
||
“Is it tougher to toot or\n\
|
||
To tutor two tooters to toot?”',
|
||
\
|
||
'No woodsman would cut a wood, would he\n\
|
||
If woods would be woodless – nor should he.\n\
|
||
Yet no woodcutter would\n\
|
||
Cut a woody-wood wood\n\
|
||
If no woodsmen cut woody woods, would he?',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a man from the sticks\n\
|
||
Who loved to compose limericks\n\
|
||
But he failed at his sport\n\
|
||
They were always too short\n\
|
||
Parade Daily\n\
|
||
Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox.',
|
||
\
|
||
'A poet whose friends called him Steve\n\
|
||
Once showed quite a will to achieve\n\
|
||
His skill grew so strong\n\
|
||
That his poems grew long\n\
|
||
And he sadly was forced to abbrev.',
|
||
\
|
||
'If you catch a chinchilla in Chile\n\
|
||
And cut off its beard, willy-nilly\n\
|
||
You can honestly say\n\
|
||
That you have just made\n\
|
||
A Chilean chinchilla’s chin chilly',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a man named Muvett\n\
|
||
Who lived in the city of Lovett\n\
|
||
But his car broke down\n\
|
||
Two miles out of town\n\
|
||
And Muvett had to shove it to Lovett!',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a beautiful nurse\n\
|
||
Who carried an ugly old purse\n\
|
||
But she tripped on the door\n\
|
||
And fell on the floor\n\
|
||
And they both went away in the hearse.',
|
||
\
|
||
'There was a young girl from Flynn\n\
|
||
Who was so terribly thin\n\
|
||
When she sipped lemonade\n\
|
||
Through a straw in the shade\n\
|
||
She slipped through the straw and fell in!',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a man from Gorem\n\
|
||
Had a pair of tight pants and he wore ’em\n\
|
||
When he bowed with a grin\n\
|
||
A draft of air rushed in\n\
|
||
And he knew by the sound that he tore ’em!',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a man from the city\n\
|
||
Stooped to pat what he thought was a kitty\n\
|
||
He gave it a pat\n\
|
||
But it wasn’t a cat-\n\
|
||
They buried his clothes – what a pity!',
|
||
\
|
||
'There once was a gal from Decatur\n\
|
||
Who went to sing in a the-a-ter\n\
|
||
But the poor little thing\n\
|
||
When she started to sing\n\
|
||
Got hit by a rotten termater! (tomato)',
|
||
\
|
||
'What happens when you retire?\n\
|
||
You really don’t have to inquire –\n\
|
||
No job and no phone\n\
|
||
There’s no place but home,\n\
|
||
And your checkbook’s about to expire!',
|
||
\
|
||
'At times I’m so mad that I’m hopping.\n\
|
||
My angriness sets my veins popping.\n\
|
||
I yell and I curse,\n\
|
||
With swear words diverse,\n\
|
||
But my wife does much worse: she goes shopping',
|
||
\
|
||
'One Saturday morning at three,\n\
|
||
A cheese monger’s shop in Paree.\n\
|
||
Collapsed to the ground,\n\
|
||
With a thunderous sound,\n\
|
||
Leaving only a pile of de brie.'
|
||
]
|
||
|
||
# Init
|
||
@client.event
|
||
async def on_ready():
|
||
print(l1gmab0t+'\n'+datetime.datetime.now().strftime('%Y-%m-%d %H:%M:%S')+'\nLogged in as {0.user}'.format(client))
|
||
|
||
# Monitor Incoming
|
||
@client.event
|
||
async def on_message(message):
|
||
username = str(message.author).split('#')[0]
|
||
user_message = str(message.content)
|
||
channel = str(message.channel.name)
|
||
print(f'{username}: {user_message} ({channel})')
|
||
|
||
if message.author == client.user:
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
if message.channel.name == 'cartman':
|
||
async with message.channel.typing():
|
||
new_user_input_ids = tokenizer.encode(user_message + tokenizer.eos_token, return_tensors='pt')
|
||
bot_output = new_user_input_ids
|
||
bot_input_ids = torch.cat([new_user_input_ids, bot_output])
|
||
bot_output = model.generate(
|
||
bot_input_ids, max_length= 200,
|
||
pad_token_id=tokenizer.eos_token_id,
|
||
no_repeat_ngram_size=3,
|
||
do_sample=True,
|
||
top_k=100,
|
||
top_p=0.7,
|
||
temperature=.8
|
||
)
|
||
await message.channel.send('{}'.format(tokenizer.decode(bot_output[:,bot_input_ids.shape[-1]:][0], skip_special_tokens=True)))
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
if message.channel.name == 'shitposting':
|
||
if user_message.lower().count('musk') > 0:
|
||
await message.channel.send(user_tweet('elonmusk'))
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
elif user_message.lower() == 'lulzbot' or user_message == 'ligmabot' or user_message == 'L1gMaB0t' or user_message == 'help':
|
||
await message.channel.send(menu)
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
elif user_message.lower().count('deez') > 0 or user_message.lower().count('bofa') > 0 or user_message.lower().count('ligma') > 0 or user_message.lower().count('l1gma') > 0 or user_message.lower().count('l1gm4') > 0 or user_message.lower().count('ligm4') > 0:
|
||
await message.channel.send(np.random.choice(ligma))
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
elif user_message.lower().count('limerick') > 0 or user_message.lower().count('limrick') > 0:
|
||
await message.channel.send(np.random.choice(limericks))
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
elif user_message.lower().count('prost!') > 0:
|
||
await message.channel.send('https://tenor.com/view/prost-christoph-waltz-django-bier-zum-wohle-gif-11041516')
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
elif user_message.lower() == 'fortune':
|
||
await message.channel.send(fortune())
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
elif user_message.lower().count('chuck') > 0:
|
||
await message.channel.send(np.random.choice(chuck))
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
elif user_message.lower().count('lulzbot tell me about yourself') > 0:
|
||
await message.channel.send(\
|
||
'In west Philadelphia born and raised\n\
|
||
On the playground was where I spent most of my days')
|
||
time.sleep(4.6)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
Chillin\' out maxin\' relaxin\' all cool\n\
|
||
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school')
|
||
time.sleep(4.6)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
When a couple of guys who were up to no good\n\
|
||
Started making trouble in my neighborhood')
|
||
time.sleep(4.6)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared\n\
|
||
She said, "You\'re movin\' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air"')
|
||
time.sleep(5)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
I begged and pleaded with her day after day\n\
|
||
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way')
|
||
time.sleep(4.6)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket\n\
|
||
I put my Walkman on and said\n\
|
||
"I might as well kick it"')
|
||
time.sleep(4.5)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
First class, yo, this is bad\n\
|
||
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass')
|
||
time.sleep(4.5)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?\n\
|
||
Hmm, this might be alright')
|
||
time.sleep(4.5)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
I whistled for a cab and when it came near\n\
|
||
The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror')
|
||
time.sleep(4.5)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
If anything I could say that this cab was rare\n\
|
||
But I thought, "Nah, forget it"\n\
|
||
– "Yo, homes to Bel-Air"')
|
||
time.sleep(4.5)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
I')
|
||
time.sleep(.5)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
pulled')
|
||
time.sleep(.5)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
up to the house about 7 or 8\n\
|
||
And I yelled to the cabbie\n\
|
||
"Yo homes smell ya later"')
|
||
time.sleep(4.5)
|
||
await message.channel.send('\
|
||
I looked at my kingdom\n\
|
||
I was finally there\n\
|
||
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air')
|
||
return
|
||
|
||
client.run(TOKEN)
|